5 Reasons 2012 will be the LAST year; This is the end.

After having survived the Rapture twice in 2011 (and my wife has the t-shirt to prove it), we should all count ourselves lucky that we got a 1 year extension of the planet's existence.

All of the following reasons could be facts. In fact, they have to be facts. They're written by someone who isn't you. They're on the Internet. Obviously they're reliable. Someone told you they were.

1. Rome was founded in 753 BC. That makes 2012 the year 2765 AUC. 2765 in Roman Numerals is MMDCCLXV. 2012 is MMXII. If we delete the duplicated letters, it leaves DCCLVII. This is an anagram for Clivid. I'm sure that if someone named Clivid is elected president of the United States in 2012, it will cause the end of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

2. 4004 BC is one of the agreed upon dates for the founding of this planet. 4004 + 2012 = 6016. A quick search online reveals that 6016 is the number of a Legoland brick set of a little dude on a chariot. The four horsemen of the apocalypse have horses and come from the ancient times. Chariots were wheeled around the world by horses in ancient times. Thus, Lego has fortold the end.

3. 2012 was a blockbuster movie that fortells the end. Taking the names of the primary stars (John Cusack, Amanda Peet, and Danny Glover) and running them through an anagram generator reveals: "Omen: A Sunny Jacaranda Glop Kvetched." I couldn't have put it any plainer.

4. Rush (the band, not the fat guy) prophesied in 2112 that the solar system would be taken over by evil priests who want to take guitars away from us. Napoleon fought his last battle in 1812. 1912 saw Albania become a nation. This leads me to believe that years ending in -12 are important. Consequently, Napoleon Dynamite will become Chief Priest of Albania and begin his Guitar Burning Mission. It will take 100 years for the world to be subjugated.

5. 666 is the traditional number of the beast. The beast is generally a goat or a snake or something. We'll pick snake today. Snakes can bend around and make themselves look like the number 6. Snake bites are bad. A plague of snakes will cover the world in 2012 because 2012 - 666 = 1346. The black plague was rampant in 1346. Obviously the plague, carried by snakes, will destroy the world in 2012.

It is plain that the world will end in 2012. The facts I just made up are irrefutable. Plus, someone who works with me assured me during our manager's meeting yesterday that we have less than 365 days to go. He was serious. The guy he replaced thought a "Golden Orb" was following him around the office one night. Obviously I work with highly skilled, intelligent folks that can be trusted to know the future. Golden orbs...

Yep, I wrote a sequel. I've added four and a half more reasons. Here it is!